What Is the Biblical View of the Husband and Wife Relationship?

Direct Answer

The Bible's view is that marriage pictures Christ and the church: wives submit to their husbands as unto the Lord, and husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church.

In Ephesians 5, the wife is told to submit to her own husband because he is her head even as Christ is the head of the church. The husband is commanded to love his wife with the same self-giving love Christ showed by dying for the church. Les Feldick stresses this is not a license for a husband to be a taskmaster or slave master — the wife is never his slave, and the husband must be ready to die for her.

Key Scriptures

Ephesians 5:22-25 — Paul directly defines the husband-wife relationship as an analogy of Christ and the church.

What Does the Bible Say About the Husband and Wife Relationship?

Ephesians 5:21-25 establishes the mutual and ordered pattern for marriage. Believers are to submit to one another in the fear of God, and then specifically, wives are told to 'submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.' The reason given is that 'the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.' The passage continues by saying that as the church is subject to Christ, so wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything. Then the husband is commanded: 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.'

What Does Les Feldick Teach About the Husband and Wife Relationship?

Les Feldick repeatedly emphasizes that Ephesians 5 is an analogy between marriage and Christ's relationship to the Body of Christ. He explains that a wife's submission does not make her a slave or a 'gopher' — it simply means she recognizes that God has ordained the husband to be the head of the home (Clip 1). The husband, on the other hand, is not given that authority to be a taskmaster or to 'downtrod' his wife; she is part of him and they are one (Clip 4). Les points out that the command is for husbands to love their wives, and he notes that Scripture never tells the wife to love the husband (Clip 2). This love is to be like Christ's love for the church — so complete that a husband would be willing to die for his wife (Clips 3, 7). When a husband treats his wife this way, Les says there will be no divorce problem. He also clarifies that the wife submits to her husband's headship, not to a king (Clip 5).

Does the Bible Teach That a Wife Should Be a Slave?

Les Feldick is emphatic that submission is not slavery. He says a wife is not required to be a slave or a 'gopher,' and a husband is not to be a taskmaster or slave master. Rather, the wife simply recognizes God's order that the man is head of the home. The Bible never gives the husband authority to downtrod his wife; she is a part of him and they are one.

Why Is the Husband Commanded to Love, but Not the Wife?

Les Feldick points out that Ephesians 5:25 is a commandment for husbands: 'Husbands, love your wives.' He then observes that the scripture never tells the wife to love the husband. The husband's love is the initiating, Christ-like love, and the wife's submission is the response to that love.

How Is Marriage a Picture of Christ and the Church?

Paul's analogy is central to Les Feldick's teaching. The husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. As the church is subject to Christ, so the wife is subject to her husband. And as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, the husband should love his wife to the point of self-sacrifice. Les notes that Christ is the head of the Body, not a king, and the wife submits to her husband's headship, not to a king.

From the Teaching

Introduction to the Ephesians Analogy

Les introduces Ephesians 5 as the deeper New Testament analogy between human marriage and Christ's headship over the Body of Christ.

Submission Is Not Slavery

Les explains that a wife's submission does not mean slavery or being a 'gopher'; it simply recognizes that God has ordained the husband as the head of the home.

Husbands Commanded to Love

Les highlights that Ephesians 5:25 is a command for husbands to love their wives, and he observes that Scripture never tells the wife to love her husband.

Christ-Like Love Willing to Die

Les says a husband should treat his wife the way Christ treats the church — with total love to the point of being willing to die for her — which eliminates divorce problems.

No Authority to Downtrod

Les makes clear the Bible never gives a husband authority to downtrod his wife; she is never his slave or servant, but part of him, and they are one.

Head, Not King

Les clarifies that a wife submits to her husband's headship but not as a subject to a king, just as Christ is the head of the church, not its king.

Master/Servant Analogy

Les traces the master/servant theme from Abraham to the human husband/wife relationship and then to the spiritual marriage of Christ and the Body.

Ready to Die for Her

Les notes that Christ had to die to become the head of the Body, and a husband should likewise be ready to die for his wife.

Bible Verses

Ephesians 5:21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

This is the general call to mutual submission that introduces the marriage instructions.

Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

This directly addresses the wife's role in the marriage relationship.

Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

This gives the theological basis for the husband's headship: the analogy to Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

This links the church's subjection to Christ to the wife's response to her husband.

Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

This is the command that defines the husband's sacrificial love.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the Bible make the wife a slave to her husband?

No. Les Feldick explains that a wife's submission simply means she recognizes God's order that the man is the head of the home. She is never to be a slave or a 'gopher,' and the husband is never to be a taskmaster or slave master.

Why doesn't Scripture command the wife to love her husband?

Les Feldick observes that Paul commands husbands to love their wives, but never commands wives to love their husbands. The husband's love is the Christ-like, initiating love, and the wife's role is to respond to it.

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church?

It means loving her to the point of self-sacrifice. Les Feldick says a husband should have the same attitude toward his wife that Christ has toward the church — total love, even to the place of being willing to die for her.

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