No — the Bible never commands wives to love their husbands; the love command is directed to husbands only.
In Ephesians 5, Paul explicitly commands 'husbands, love your wives' (Ephesians 5:25), but never tells a wife to love her husband. Les Feldick explains that this goes back to creation: God created the man with a will to love, and created the woman with the capacity to respond to that love. The wife's command is to submit to her husband's headship, not to love him by command.
Ephesians 5:25 — This is the love command in the marriage passage — and it is directed to husbands, not wives.
Ephesians 5:22 — The command actually given to the wife in the marriage passage is submission, not love.
Genesis 1:27 — The creation of male and female is where Les roots his explanation of why the man loves and the woman responds.
The marriage passage in Ephesians 5 contains commands for both husband and wife, but the commands are different. The wife is told, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). The husband is told, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25). No command in this passage — or anywhere else in Scripture — tells a wife to love her husband. The passage explains the relationship in terms of head and body: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Ephesians 5:23). The wife's commanded response is submission, grounded in that head/body relationship.
Les Feldick points out that throughout Scripture — from the first human couple in Eden to the book of Ephesians — God has never commanded the wife to love the husband. Not once. He does, however, command the husband: "husbands, love your wives" (Ephesians 5:25). Les emphasizes that whenever the Bible stipulates something like this, it becomes a commandment, even though it is not one of the Ten Commandments. The reason goes back to creation. God created the man with a will and the capacity to extend love, just as God extended His love and grace to man and expected love returned. The woman, on the other hand, was created with what Les calls "that responder" — the God-given ability to respond to the man's love. That is what makes a marriage work: a husband who loves his wife, even though he is her head, and a wife who revels in that love and responds. Les also clarifies the wife's submission. She is not subject to a husband-king, nor is she a slave or gopher. She submits to his headship, just as the church is subject to Christ. When a husband truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church, it automatically follows that the wife will respond to that love. Les notes that Peter says mothers are to instruct their daughters on how to love their husbands, but that is "a far cry" from commanding it.
Les states plainly that God has never commanded the wife to love the husband — not once in all of human history, and not even in Ephesians. The reason is creation design. When God created the first human couple, He placed in the man a will to love, corresponding to God's own love extended to man, and He placed in the woman a 'responder' — the ability to respond to that love. So the absence of the command is not an oversight; it reflects how God designed marriage to work.
The wife is commanded to submit: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). Les clarifies this does not make her a slave, a gopher, or a servant to a taskmaster. She recognizes that God has ordained the man as the head of the home. And her submission is not to a husband-king but to a head — just as the church is subject to Christ.
In verse 25, Paul writes, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Les calls this a commandment. The husband's love is to mirror Christ's attitude toward the church — a pure, self-giving love that lives totally to the benefit of his wife. There is no room for abuse of authority when the husband loves that way; the wife naturally responds, and the two come together.
No. Les explains it is not scripturally correct to refer to Christ as our King in the church age — He is the head of the body. In the same way, a wife is not the subject of a husband-king; she is part of her husband, and she submits to his headship. The picture is a head-and-body connection, not a throne-and-subject relationship. When a husband exercises that headship with Christ's love, "there's no room for abuse."
Not a King but a Head
Les explains that just as Christ is the head of the body rather than a King to the church, a wife is not subject to a husband-king — she is part of her husband and submits to his headship.
Never Once Commanded
Les states that from the first human couple through the book of Ephesians, God never commanded the wife to love her husband — the command 'husbands, love your wives' is directed only to husbands.
The Responder
Les connects the absence of a command to Genesis 1: God created man with a will to return love, and created the woman to respond to the man's love. Peter's instruction for mothers to teach daughters is teaching, not a command.
A Commandment to Husbands
Les calls Ephesians 5:25 'a commandment' for husbands to love their wives, and stresses that Scripture never tells the wife to love her husband.
Submission Not Slavery
Les clarifies that the wife's submission does not mean she is a slave or gopher; the relationship is equated with Christ and the church.
God Put a Responder in Woman
Since God mandated the husband to love and not the wife, He built into woman the ability to respond — the wife responds to her husband's love, protection, and care.
The Husband as Head
Les explains that the woman recognizes God's ordained order of man as head of the home, not as a taskmaster, and notes the key is submission 'as unto the Lord.'
No Discomfort Under Christ's Headship
Les uses the analogy of Christ as head of the church — nothing uncomfortable about that headship — to show the husband should live totally to the benefit of his wife.
Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
This is the command actually given to the wife — submission, not love.
Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
It explains the head/body analogy underlying the marriage relationship.
Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
This is the only love command in the passage — it is directed to husbands, which is exactly why wives are never commanded to love.
Genesis 1:27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Les ties the command structure back to the creation of the first couple.
Les Feldick teaches that God never once commanded the wife to love her husband — not even in Ephesians. The reason goes back to creation: God created the man with a will to love, and created the woman with the capacity to respond to that love. The command to love is therefore given to the husband, who is told to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
Not as a command. Les notes that Peter tells mothers to teach their daughters how to love their husbands, but that is instruction, not a command. The only explicit love command in the marriage passage is Ephesians 5:25 — 'husbands, love your wives.'
Ephesians 5:22 commands the wife to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord. Les explains this is not slavery — she is not a gopher or slave girl. She recognizes God has ordained the husband as head, and the relationship mirrors the church's relationship to Christ.
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