Husbands are commanded to love their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).
Les Feldick emphasizes that Ephesians 5:25 is a commandment placing the responsibility on the husband, with Christ's sacrificial love for the church as the standard. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church — not as a king over subjects, but in a loving relationship where the wife is part of him and never his servant.
Ephesians 5:25 — The direct command that answers the question: husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
Ephesians 5:23 — Defines the husband's headship by Christ's headship over the church, the pattern for how that love is expressed.
Ephesians 5:22–25 sets out the marriage relationship in terms of Christ and the church. Verse 22 instructs wives: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Verse 23 explains the pattern: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Verse 24 continues the parallel: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Then verse 25 turns directly to the husband: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” The biblical pattern, therefore, is a wife who submits to her husband, and a husband who loves his wife with the same self-giving love Christ has for the church.
Les Feldick emphasizes that when Scripture says the husband is the head of the wife, it is never giving the husband authority to downtrod his wife. She is not his slave or his servant — she is part of him; they are one. The headship relationship is to be equated with Christ and the church: “as the Lord is to the church, that's how the husband is to be to the wife.” Les points to Ephesians 5:25 as the commandment that puts the responsibility on the husband: “husbands, love your wives.” He notes that the Scripture never tells the wife to love the husband — not even in Ephesians. Instead, when God created the first human couple, He put a responder in the woman. If the husband will truly love his wife scripturally as Christ loves the church, the wife will automatically respond to that love. That, Les says, is what makes a marriage work.
No. Les Feldick teaches that the Bible never gives the husband the authority to downtrod his wife — she is never to be his slave or his servant, because she is part of him and they are one. The husband is not a taskmaster or slave master; he is simply given the place of authority in the home. The safeguard against abusing that authority is the pattern of the very next verse: the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23).
Les Feldick points out that the commandment in Ephesians 5 is directed at the husband — “husbands, love your wives” (verse 25) — and the Scripture never tells the wife to love the husband. Peter does tell mothers to instruct their daughters on how to love their husbands, but Les says that is a far cry from commanding it. The reason goes back to creation: God created the man with a will, and just as God extends His love and expects love returned, He created the woman with an ability to respond to the husband's love.
Les connects Ephesians 5:25 directly to Christ's love for the church — the husband is to love his wife the same way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. He also teaches that it is not scripturally correct to think of Christ as a king ruling over subjects, and the same is true of the husband: his headship over the wife is not harsh rule but a loving relationship. Paul's analogy is that the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Saviour of the body.
Headship That Never Downtreads the Wife
Les teaches that the husband's headship is like Christ's headship over the church — the Bible never gives the husband authority to downtrod his wife; she is part of him and they are one.
A Commandment for the Husband
Les stresses that “husbands, love your wives” is a direct commandment, and that the Scripture never tells the wife to love the husband.
The Marriage Relationship Equated with Christ and the Church
Les teaches that the husband-wife relationship is to be equated with the Lord and the church, so the husband is not to lord it over his wife as a slave girl.
The Wife Is to Respond, Not Commanded
Les shows that God never commanded the wife to love the husband, but He does command husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
The Woman Created to Respond
Les teaches that God put a responder in the woman — created with the ability to respond to her husband's love, protection, and care.
The Christ-Church Analogy in Ephesians 5
Les connects Ephesians 5:23 and 5:25 to show that the husband's headship and love mirror Christ's headship and His giving Himself for the church.
Head of the Home, Not a Taskmaster
Les teaches that the husband is simply given the place of authority in the home as head, and the succeeding verses guard against abuse of that authority.
Love That Draws an Automatic Response
Les teaches that if a husband truly loves his wife scripturally as Christ loves the church, the wife's response to that love follows automatically.
Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Sets the wife's submission in the framework of her relationship to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Defines the husband's headship by Christ's headship over the church.
Ephesians 5:24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Extends the Christ-church pattern to the wife's submission.
Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
The direct command answering the question — love your wife as Christ loved the church, even to giving Himself.
Genesis 1:27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Les ties the husband-wife relationship back to the creation of the first couple, with the woman designed to respond.
Yes. Les Feldick stresses that Ephesians 5:25 is a direct commandment that places the responsibility on the husband. He notes that people often think of commandments only as the Ten Commandments, but whenever the Bible stipulates something like this, it becomes a commandment.
No. Les points out that the Scripture never tells the wife to love the husband — not even in Ephesians 5. The command is the other way around: “husbands, love your wives.” Peter instructs mothers to teach their daughters how to love their husbands, but that is instruction, not a commandment.
Les teaches that the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church. This means he is not to be a taskmaster or slave master, and the Bible never gives him authority to downtrod his wife. Instead, the relationship is one of love — as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it — leaving no room for abuse of authority.
Watch the Teaching: What Does "Church" Really Mean? Acts 2 & Ekklesia Explained