Why did Paul say he would come in love and meekness rather than with a rod?
Paul preferred to come in love and the spirit of meekness because harsh measures were not his nature unless absolutely necessary. He wanted his letter to prepare the Corinthian congregation for his visit, allowing him to appeal to them gently rather than with wrath, anger, and a rod.
Les explains that Paul asks the Corinthians what they want: shall he come with a rod, with wrath and anger and not spare, or shall he come in love and in the spirit of meekness? Les teaches that Paul will come in love and meekness because it just was not Paul's nature to go in and start taking harsh measures unless he absolutely had to. This letter was preparatory to his coming to the congregation in Corinth so that he could appeal to them in love and meekness.
What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?