No, Jesus was not commanding literal hatred toward parents; He used a comparative term.
Les Feldick teaches that Jesus never expected any human being to hate their parents. Instead, the word 'hate' is comparative: when our love for the Lord Jesus is so supreme, our love for family is, by comparison, almost like hatred. This is illustrated by God's love for Jacob, which made Esau seem hated.
Luke 14:26 — Jesus uses the strong word 'hate' in connection with being His disciple.
Malachi 1:2-3 — Les points to Malachi 1 to show the Bible's comparative use of 'hate.'
Jesus did not soften the cost of following Him. In Luke 14:26 He says, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." The same strong word appears in Malachi 1, where God says, "Yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau." The Bible records these words directly, showing that 'hate' is used in Scripture in a comparative way.
Les Feldick addresses the troubling nature of Jesus's statement directly. He says that whenever the word 'hate' appears in Scripture, it bothers people. Jesus never expected any human being to hate his parents; rather, the word is a comparative term. If a believer has such a love for the Lord Jesus that, by comparison, love for family is almost like hatred, then the condition is met. Les applies the same principle to God's attitude toward Esau: God did not have an intrinsic hatred for him, but His love for Jacob was so beyond comprehension that Esau seemed hated by comparison.
Les says the word 'hate' in Jesus's statement has bothered many people. He explains that it is a comparative term — Jesus never expected anyone to literally hate their parents. Rather, when our love for Christ is so great, our love for family is almost like hatred by comparison.
Les uses Malachi 1 to show the same comparative use of 'hate.' God's love for Jacob was beyond comprehension, so Esau seemed hated in comparison. It was not that God had an intrinsic hatred for Esau. This parallel helps explain why Jesus used such strong language about hating father and mother.
Les teaches that the first commandment is to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. God is the supreme God who will not give in to competition from idols. This helps us see that no earthly love — even love for father and mother — may take the first place in a disciple's heart.
Jesus's Words About Hating Parents
Les acknowledges that Jesus's statement about hating father and mother has bothered many people and points to Malachi 1 to understand the biblical use of the word 'hate.'
Comparative Meaning of Hate
Les explains that Jesus used 'hate' as a comparative term, not a literal expectation of hostility — love for Christ makes family love seem like hatred by comparison.
Why Did God Hate Esau? Romans 9:13 and Sovereignty Explained
And the lusts, the desires of that father, the devil, you will do. Your father was a murderer from the beginning. Your father, I'm putting it in only for emphasis, abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaketh of his own, for he is a liar and the father of it. And I tell you the truth, and you believe me not.
Why Did God Hate Esau? Romans 9:13 and Sovereignty Explained
And so they're throwing this whole thing that Jesus of Nazareth was a result of fornication, an immoral act. Oh, I'll tell you what. You have no idea how low these people were. Verse 42. Then Jesus said unto them, if God were your father, you would love me, for I proceeded forth and came from God. Neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
Loving God First
Les teaches that the first commandment calls for loving God with all our heart and that God will not tolerate competition from idols, showing why He must have first place.
Why Did God Hate Esau? Romans 9:13 and Sovereignty Explained
My, as the sons of Abraham, who thought they were righteous, they should have been able to embrace Jesus and realize who he was. Why couldn't they? Because they were blind. All right, read on. Verse 38, Jesus is speaking, and he says, I speak that which I have seen with my Father, and you do that which you have seen with your Father.
Should You Eat Meat Offered to Idols? 1 Corinthians 8 Explained
So he said, I set the little fellow on my lap, and I said, Now look son, you don't have to like the little so and so's, but you're supposed to love them for God's sake. And you know that was a lesson, isn't that true? There are people up and down the highways and byways of our life that we don't necessarily have to like.
Why Israel Rejected Their King — Matthew 23 Explained
Here, as Jesus is now approaching the end of His ministry, and it's obvious that Israel is not accepting Him, He refers to the temple as, Your house. Now it's the temple that He's referring to, but He calls it Your house. Now turn back with me quickly to John chapter 2, just for a quick reference of how Christ's attitude toward the nation of Israel is showing their responsiveness to Him.
Luke 14:26: If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
This is Jesus's own statement about needing to hate father and mother to be His disciple.
Malachi 1:2-3: I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.
Les points to this passage to show the Bible using 'hate' as a comparative term.
No. Les Feldick explains that Jesus used the word as a comparative term. He never expected any human being to hate their parents.
The Bible uses strong language to show a contrast. As with God's love for Jacob and Esau, 'hate' can mean a love so much greater that the lesser love seems like hatred by comparison.
Les shows that following Jesus means giving Him the supreme place of love and loyalty. Love for parents is not rejected, but it must not surpass love for the Lord.
Watch the Teaching: What Does the Bible Say About Deception? Jacob, Esau, and the Stolen Blessing.