Peter's direct counsel is that a believing wife should be in subjection to her own husband even when he obeys not the word, so that he may be won by her conduct; the supplied clips do not quote this passage directly, but Les Feldick teaches the same submission principle from Ephesians 5.
The core scriptural answer is 1 Peter 3:1-4: the wife is not to depend on preaching or arguments, but on her chaste, reverent behavior and her meek and quiet spirit. The clips provided show Les teaching the parallel truth that a wife submits 'as unto the Lord' — a submission that does not make her a slave or gopher — and that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
1 Peter 3:1-4 — This is Peter's direct instruction to a believing wife whose husband does not obey the word.
Ephesians 5:22-23 — This is the passage Les Feldick teaches from in the supplied clips to explain the wife's submission.
Peter's answer is found in 1 Peter 3:1-4. He tells a believing wife to be in subjection to her own husband, even if he does not obey the word, so that he 'may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.' The husband is to observe her 'chaste conversation coupled with fear,' and her adornment is to be 'the hidden man of the heart' rather than outward hair, gold, or clothing. The same principle is stated in Ephesians 5:22-23: 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.'
The supplied clips do not show Les teaching directly from 1 Peter 3:1-4. Instead, he develops the identical marriage principle from Ephesians 5. He repeatedly says a wife's submission is 'as unto the Lord' and that this does not make her a gopher or slave; she simply recognizes that God has ordained the husband as head of the home, and he is not to be a taskmaster or slave master. Les also stresses that Scripture never commands a wife to love her husband, while it does command husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. When a husband treats his wife that way, Les says, the marriage will not end in divorce.
Peter says the wife is to be in subjection to her own husband, even when he disobeys the Word (1 Peter 3:1). The goal is that he may be won 'without the word' — not by her preaching or arguments, but by observing her pure, reverent conduct (1 Peter 3:2). Peter also turns her focus from outward beautification to the inner reality of a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3-4).
In Ephesians 5, Paul writes, 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.' Les explains that submission does not mean a wife becomes a gopher or slave, and the husband is not to be a taskmaster or slave master. Rather, the wife recognizes that God has given the husband the place of headship, and he is to exercise it the way Christ heads the church.
Les observes that the Bible never commands the wife to love her husband, but it does command the husband to love his wife 'even as Christ loved the church.' He connects this to creation: Adam was created with the ability to love his helpmate, while Eve was created with the ability to respond to that love. The marriage relationship, then, follows the pattern of Christ loving the church and the church responding to Him.
Les describes how converts in Corinth often came out of idolatry while their spouses remained in it, creating a division in the family. He notes this was a real and difficult situation, just as missionaries see it with polygamous converts today. The clips show his concern for these difficult cases, while the practical steps he emphasizes are the husband-wife order of Ephesians 5 and Christ-like love.
Believer married to an idolater
Les notes that converted Corinthians often had spouses still in idolatry, confirming that a divided household was a real test in the early church.
Christ-like love and the church
Les connects the wife's submission to the church's subjection to Christ and says a husband with Christ's self-giving love will not bring about divorce.
Husband commanded to love
Les points out that Scripture never commands a wife to love her husband, while it does command husbands to love their wives.
Submission as unto the Lord
Les explains that the husband is head of the wife, but the wife is not his gopher or slave; she submits as unto the Lord, not to a tyrant.
What Does "Church" Really Mean? Acts 2 & Ekklesia Explained
Peter doesn't mention being baptized into the body of Christ. He hasn't had that revelation yet and he's unaware of it. And so he's merely talking about a called out assembly of Jews who have separated themselves from the mainstream of Judaism by virtue of their believing that Jesus was the Christ. You got that? All right, now Ephesians 5. We almost have to start at verse 21.
Romans 8:31-39 Explained — Why Nothing Can Separate You From God
And you can go all the way up through Scripture, all these people failed miserably. Abraham, my, you all know the account of Abraham with that beautiful wife Sarai, and he gets down into Egypt, and what happens? Sarai, as beautiful as you are, they're going to want you in their harem, and there's nothing I can do to stop it unless they kill me.
Created to respond
Les repeats that God never commanded the wife to love the husband; the husband is commanded to love, and the wife is created to respond.
Husband as head, not taskmaster
Les clarifies that 'submit' means the wife recognizes God's ordained order of the husband as head, and the husband is not to be a taskmaster or slave master.
1 Peter 3:1: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
This is Peter's direct instruction to a wife whose husband does not obey the Word.
1 Peter 3:2: While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
The husband's attention is to be drawn to her reverent conduct, not her words.
1 Peter 3:3: Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
Peter redirects the wife's focus away from outward adornment.
1 Peter 3:4: But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
The true beauty is a meek and quiet spirit, precious in God's sight.
Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Les anchors his teaching on the wife's role in this submission principle.
Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
The husband's headship is modeled after Christ's headship of the church.
Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Les emphasizes that the husband is commanded to love sacrificially.
No. Peter says the husband may be won 'without the word' — that is, without the wife's spoken preaching — by observing her 'chaste conversation coupled with fear.' The emphasis is on her daily behavior and a meek and quiet spirit rather than on pressure or religious demands.
The supplied clips do not address limits to submission. Les teaches that a wife submits 'as unto the Lord' and clarifies that this is not slavery or servitude; the husband is not to be a taskmaster or slave master.
The passage directly addresses wives with husbands who 'obey not the word,' so it speaks to any believing wife married to an unbelieving man. It describes the kind of conduct that can win a husband without a verbal message.
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