What Happens to Our Friendships and Desires When We Become Believers?

Direct Answer

Yes — salvation begins a real change in desires and lifestyle, and that change reorients a believer's friendships and interests.

When God's power brings a spiritually dead person to life, he becomes a new person (Clip 0). Les Feldick says a believer becomes a totally different person in outlook and desires, and this change becomes visible to friends, relatives, and the community (Clips 1, 3). As a result, the old ways of living and the crowd that went with them lose their pull, while a believer now prefers things like Bible study (Clips 2, 4).

Key Scriptures

Romans 8:5 — It contrasts the mind-set of the flesh with the mind-set of the Spirit, showing where a believer's desires are now directed.

Ephesians 2:2-3 — It describes the old lifestyle and desires that a believer no longer walks in after salvation.

What Does the Bible Say?

Ephesians 2:2-3 describes the believer's old way of life before salvation. It was a walk "according to the course of this world" and "according to the prince of the power of the air." The old manner of life was marked by the "lusts of our flesh" and the "desires of the flesh and of the mind." This is the realm from which a believer has been removed. Romans 8:4-5 draws the contrast: those who are "after the flesh" set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are "after the Spirit" set their minds on the things of the Spirit. The text shows a fundamental realignment of the believer's mind and desire from the flesh to the Spirit.

What Does Les Feldick Teach About Life After Salvation?

Les Feldick teaches that salvation changes a person's whole outlook and desires, not just their eternal destiny. He says, "you become a totally different person in your outlook, in your desires," and that this is not something you work for; it comes with the new life (Clip 1). He likes to see that complete change in lifestyle and desire when someone is saved — the things a person once loved he now hates, and the things he once hated he now loves (Clip 4). Les illustrates this with a man who used to be caught up in a crowd in the city but now "wouldn't dream of being out there with them" — he would rather be at Bible class (Clip 2). He also insists that no one has to clean up habits before coming to Christ. A woman told him she would become a Christian if she could quit booze, but Les's response is that you become a believer first and then God helps you deal with the problem (Clip 5). At the same time, a believer is not an oddball. Les says the true believer is just a common, ordinary good parent, a good citizen, a good church member — operating according to God's precepts, not kooky, and yet with a lifestyle the world can recognize (Clip 7). He uses Israel's separation from Egypt to make the point that Christians are to be different from the surrounding culture, but that difference is more about direction and behavior than weirdness (Clip 6).

Do Believers Have to Become Oddballs or Withdraw from Ordinary Life?

No. Les says the true believer is not an oddball with a long face or a silly halo. A believer is a common, ordinary good parent, good citizen, and good church member — operating according to God's precepts. The difference is in lifestyle and direction, not outward weirdness, and believers have reason to be joyful.

Do You Have to Clean Up Bad Habits Before You Become a Christian?

No. Les tells of a woman named Miriam who felt she could not become a Christian until she quit drinking. He told her that is not how it works: you become a believer first, and then God helps you deal with the problem.

How Quickly Do Desires Change After Salvation?

Les says the change in outlook and desires is part of believing, but no one becomes a mature Christian overnight. A new believer is like an infant in Christ and must grow in grace, knowledge, and wisdom, just as a child grows physically.

What Kind of Lifestyle Should a Believer's Friends and Family See?

Les says the basic fundamental aspect of a true born-again child of God is to be a good citizen. The lifestyle change should be immediately visible to friends, relatives, and the whole community. A man in Les's class said that while he once would have been out in the city crowd, he now would rather be at a Bible study.

From the Teaching

New Creation by God's Power

Les explains that a spiritually dead person needs outside power from God to be energized, and that energizing makes him a new person or new creation.

Changed Outlook and Desires

Les teaches that believing makes a person totally different in outlook and desires; he isn't made instantly mature but begins as an infant in Christ.

From the Worldly Crowd to Bible Study

Les tells of a man who used to be out in the city crowd but now would rather be at Bible class — evidence of a changed lifestyle.

A Lifestyle Visible to Others

Les says the first visible evidence of a true born-again believer is a changed lifestyle that friends, relatives, and the community can see, beginning with good citizenship.

Complete Change in Desire

Les expects salvation to cause a complete change in lifestyle and desire, so the things a person once loved he now hates and vice versa.

Believe First, Then Change

Les insists no one has to quit a habit like drinking before becoming a Christian; you become a believer and then God helps you deal with the problem.

Separated, Not Oddballs

Les applies Israel's separation from Egypt to believers — we are to be different from the world in behavior and lifestyle, but not oddballs, and we have reason to be joyful.

Ordinary but Recognizable

Les pictures the true believer as an ordinary good parent, good citizen, and good church member — not kooky — yet with a lifestyle the world can recognize.

Bible Verses

Ephesians 2:2: Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:

This describes the old conduct believers walked in before salvation — following the course of this world under the devil's influence.

Ephesians 2:3: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.

This describes the former desires of the flesh and mind that believers no longer fulfill.

Romans 8:4: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

This verse points to the new walk of a believer: no longer after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Romans 8:5: For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

This verse contrasts where the fleshly mind and the Spirit-led mind are set.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will becoming a believer make me weird or out of touch with normal life?

Les says no. The true believer is just a common, ordinary good parent, good citizen, and good church member — operating according to God's precepts, not kooky or oddball. Yet their lifestyle is recognizable by the world.

Do I have to quit drinking or other bad habits before I can be saved?

No. Les uses the example of a woman who thought she had to quit booze first. He says that isn't the way it's done; you become a believer, and then God helps you deal with the problem.

How quickly do desires change after salvation?

Les teaches salvation brings a changed outlook and desires, but you don't become a mature Christian overnight. A new believer is like an infant in Christ and needs to grow in grace and knowledge.

Will other people be able to see that I am a believer?

Yes. Les says the basic fundamental aspect of a true born-again child of God is to be a good citizen, and the change in lifestyle becomes visible to friends, relatives, and the whole community.

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